fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
