Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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