my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
