next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
