you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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