it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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