WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
