I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
