I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
