dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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