In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
