So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
