I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
