Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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