At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
