A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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