Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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