I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
