I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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