i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
