We're facebook friends in real life
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
only if we run a train.
done.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize