the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I am morally bankrupt
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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