If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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