Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
