i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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