i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
