Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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