ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
