We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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