I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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