Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
