okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
