i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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