using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
