Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
