He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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