yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I love you.
Bad choice
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
