some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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