dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
