I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
