I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
