Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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