it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I want a musical about memes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
