some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize