The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
