Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
