It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
