i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
