I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
