i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
