He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
