spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
