Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize