Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
