90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
