How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
