This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
